Growing up I had dreams and aspirations to work with kids so I wanted to be a pediatrician but in the same breath I don’t like science so that didn’t work out. After doing the morning news in highschool I decided I wanted to work in media! Journalism seemed to be the way to go so my Trini beti and I decided we wanted to go to Ryerson and live like the girls in Gossip Girl living downtown (less scandalous obviously) but that obviously did not pan out. Half way through university I decided that I liked Public Relations and Event Planning and that was it!

Here I am today sitting in my cubicle trying to figure how the heck I got here!

Taking a step back and observing my life I sort of know how but it is definitely unfortunate but not bad. I love my job – some days are better than others but that’s what happens when you have to deal with other people in general. Getting a job in media is super hard unless you have a connect or are willing to go broke trying to build experience with mini jobs, in my opinion. There were a few opportunities that I received even while in university but I was working a full time job and they wanted me to work for free basically until we put ourselves on… pardon?

Where are the paid internships? or at least the flexible non-paid ones so that I can actually have a source of income to afford my commute and possibly buying a plain bagel, lightly toasted with butter from Timmies to get me through my day? Where are the jobs where you don’t require five years of experience working in our field straight out of school? The search has been frustrating.

The reason why I’m sitting at my desk working in a different field is because the hunt got tiring. Though this doesn’t mean its over, it means that I needed some money since according to a few non-credible sources I’m high maintenance (pssssshhhh). Jordan (STiXX) mentioned to me in a conversation we had a while ago “as long as you’re consistent with networking… it doesn’t have to be like another job”, so I’m taking it as such. Slowly trying to get out and network, building meaningful relationships, asking questions, breaking out of my shell, all them good thangs.

I’m not sure if there are other people out there who read this that are going through the same thing but please share your thoughts, frustrations, and concerns…

God bless xx

Advertisements

first week

how was my first week back at school? a sucker punch to the left titty.

Realistically there is no winning with prepping to go back to school in my eyes. Way back in September I walked into school saying I’m just gonna not talk to anyone, sit at the front of class and hand in everything on time. Focus! But then my profs love group projects… *gags*. I guess it makes sense that in Public Relations we have to get used to working together but like why sooo many group projects?! Can we chill? This also meant that I needed to talk to people in school and since all of my friends I made in first year graduated I’m doomed.. or so I thought. In a nutshell I made some bomb friends and I hope I have them in all my classes that have group projects because I have hit my school friends quota for this institution and they make me happy lol.

Fast forwarding to Winter semester and I have two exams this week, a bunch of assignments due every week, and I’m hunting for a book that is well overpriced. Take me back to highschool when it costed $60 per year for school and the books were provided, on SparkNotes or in the library at NO CHARGE. I really should be studying but I’m just not feeling it. My parents would smack me if they knew I wasn’t studying…(don’t smack me if/when you read this guys, love you) but I’m a G so I’ma go study in like… 3 minutes lol.

On the bright side of my life lately I got a new job!!!! *crip walks* *heel toes* *pelvic thrusts* *gets jiggy with it* *shimmies*

.. oh and did I mention this job is a million times LESS stressful than my last job? My old senior always told me that after I left I would find better, everyone is happier when they leave my old workplace and LOOK AT GOD. I’m happy as heck. I actually have time to see my friends and my family and not wanna smack everyone in sight. Its wonderful. This is definitely helping with my “road to being positive all the time” though there have been some hiccups on this very long ride.

shoutout to the folks who are actually happy all the time and can see the positive in every situation ALL. THE. TIME.

I try my best and then God puts something in front of me and I get flustered and after some negative thoughts I realize that that was a test and I failed, lawl. I need to keep my cool.

but anyways. I think I should start reading now, it’s getting late and I haven’t even cracked open my textbook LOL.

toodles and God bless xox.

tornado .

I am tired . being an adult is draining man, bring me back to middle school where my biggest worry was my unibrow and my two gapped teeth.. yes I had a unibrow . I don’t know which parent of mine placed this curse upon my life but I’m glad I learned about threading and waxing *praise breaks*

so I seem to currently be stuck . I’m in a comfortable place in certain aspects of my life and I don’t know if I’m ready to step out of my comfort zone and take a chance . The main reason for that is all the changes that has been going on in my life, like those 0 to 100 type changes … real quick . God is really testing my faith and patience and I’m slipping as of lately , in my opinion . Spending time away from home really gave me time to think, evaluate things and get motivated to change what I didn’t like in my life ; a week or so later and the flame is there but nothing has changed . As my mom always tells me, things will happen is God’s time but this is hard . Living in a generation of go-getters that believe they’re “self made” and that everything they have and have achieved is solely because they worked for it . Now don’t get me wrong, God will bless you but you have to do some of the work but I mean there are people that totally discredit Him . So when I see people just waking up and taking matters into their own hands AND it works out for them it makes me feel like crap because I haven’t been able to do that myself . A lot of the time I’ll catch myself getting upset and flustered and ready to take matters into my own hands and then God just put me right back in my place smh .

ugh this post is so sappy. long story short ITS HARD OUT HERE IN THESE SKREETS .

ohhhh p.s. my job is becoming a major cockblock to my life right now . There have been so many opportunities for me to network that I’ve had to skip out on because I have work . I’m eternally grateful for my job but my gosh I am becoming my job . I can’t wait to be this invested into my career that I love and have been hoping for. I didn’t go to school and study to just stop here . 

Speaking of career, PR hmmmm where am I going with this ? Where do I start ? Where am I going ?! *smushes face into pillow* . Every week I begin questioning my future or what stream of PR to get into, what industry… merp ah derp derp . I know I love Public Relations but there’s a lot I need to learn and my problem is I spend my time comparing my lack of experience to some people who work or are trying to start a career in media and how much they’ve done . I need to stop doing it but it’s hard for me . Everyone works at their own pace is easy to say to someone else but to actually accept the fact is difficult .

my mind is all over the place right now. wow . please is excuse me lol . oh btw, I have been consistently trying to stop using “lol” unless I actually mean it and … I guess its helping but it makes me nervous about how people perceive my messages . Ugh thats so annoying about texting . I miss face to face interactions, phone calls or even FaceTime conversations . You can’t misinterpret body language, tone of voice, our volume but you can misinterpret a mood just because someone doesn’t have a “aha” or “lol” to signify that it’s not that serious . *sigh*

Okay enough, let me talk about some good things happening in my life before I wrap this up . Let’s see … I’m currently learning Spanish/brushing up on my French (*pelvic thrust*). I got a huge water bottle that hold 8 glasses of water and have been drinking JUST water since I got back from Texas (*pelvic thrust* I will have an occasional hot chocolate or juice but water is slowly becoming my BFF), and I’ve been reading scripture more often than usual and actually understanding and relating it/applying it to my life (*pelvic thrust*) so yeah, this are great . I’m alive and well, my family is as well and I have a great group of people around me so I know with their support and God’s grace I will get through anything .

sideeeeenote

opportunities can come from out of nowhere and I’m loving them. I don’t know if I have spoken about this on my blog but people who know me personally should know I tend to stress a lot when I think about my career and what I want to do when I get older. My mind is all over the place that I can’t see where I want to or will be but honestly … I’m just letting things happen and taking notes along the way . SO many changes have happened since my ankle injury, some great and some terrible but I’m living and happy so I can’t complain! But just for a mini update ….

I am now the Publicity Intern for Grindaholiks Ink !

*pelvic thrusts* *shimmies* *gets on bod* *praise breaks*

if you follow me on twitter (@shhhnry) you have probably already seen me tweet about the company a few times . don’t hesitate to check out the website and tell all your music industry friends about us at grindaholiks.com !

I’ve also created a YouTube channel ! I’m hoping to post a lot more and get more comfy in front of the camera very soon, my channel is artisticallyDull . shoot me any ideas for my YouTube or even this blog , greatly appreciated .

last but not least with all the changes happening in my life I would just like all of you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers, all positive vibes ! I have some changes in the works that I won’t get in specifics about but let’s just say I’m very excited lol .

 

now I’m really gone,

toodles xo.

A Storm is brewing .

Only up until a few years ago did I hear about Christians going through “storms” and witnessing my mom go through hers I always said to myself that I dread the day that I go through mine .

I’m torn . Dealing with daily struggles its hard to keep faith that God is even watching over me . My mom has been through hell and back and through it all she seems to have put all her faith in Him but it’s extremely hard for me to do the same . But I can feel a storm is coming . I don’t think I have ever had to deal with some of the things I’ve been working through these past few months and I feel exhausted . If this is what comes with becoming an adult take me back to my life back when I was 10 living in Sauga ! I can’t wait to genuinely smile again on a consistent basis .

On a positive note though , I’ve completed my Fall semester of school and my birthdaaaay is less than a month away !!!! I’m looking into internships and volunteer opportunities so if anyone reading this blog knows of any media internships or volunteering opportunities HOLLA AT YA GIRL , spanks and God Bless xox .

Note to self : Reading the Word . Have Faith . Believe .