breathe for a second.

self assurance. know your worth. take your time. you’re amazing. 

appreciate what you have, work for what you want. pray for guidance, strength, and patience. 

Lord I feel like I’m constantly trying to get things on my own without asking for your help or approval which is probably why they aren’t going my way. aha good one, I’m learning I swear.

pray for me.

get ready.

how crazy is it that after yeeeeears and yeeeeears of dealing with stress with money, assignments, prof’s, family, friendships and relationships I am finally graduating from university!

I got my grad tickets today and it really dawned on me… God has brought me through all the nonsense that I didn’t think I could have made it through. Even when I gave up He put me back on track and gave me the strength to carry it through. I am eternally grateful.

ah coming again…

If you listen to soca then you are probably humming Machel cause… Yeah okay.

G’morning though.

I’m here again because I’m stuck and bored at the mechanic, yas ya’ll I got a car *slow whines*. But I just wanna make this very short rant and go back to listening to this soca mix…

I declare that I am so done with being taken advantage of and used. I am valuable. I’m amazing. I  am blessed. I have potential. So why the heck am I going to sit back and be mistreated? Miss me with the nonsense. Please understand that there is no hard feelings but when I put my foot down I need to keep it there. 

Just put some respeck on my name, all I ask.
Much love and blessings xox.

NTS: Love Yourself!

self love is so real and becoming a rarity nowadays. If you don’t get enough likes, get enough numbers at the club, or get holla’d at on the street it translates to “I am not good enough”. Why? Instead of looking within to find love we look for validation from outside. Everyone’s idea of beauty is different, everyone has different taste. There is nothing you can do to change someone’s opinion on that, you gotta just keep. it. moving!

I find that it is so hard for this generation to love ourselves because we are striving to look like someone else… wow not that I say that line I feel like I have ranted about this somewhere before… welp, here we go again lol. But honestly, no one is perfect. I sure as heck am not perfect, one of my eyes are higher than the other. one of my boobs are smaller than the other. if I don’t see my eyebrow lady every two weeks my mustache and unibrow grows back lol. this is liiiiiiiiiife. I can go on forever about the things that I don’t like about myself but what I am trying to learn to do and stick by is always love myself. I can point out the things that I can change or just learn to accept then laugh about it.

as a friend, sister, daughter, and lover, I am here to uplift and encourage you. I will not lie to you though. I have found beauty in all the people in my life and I have no problem pointing them out to you and throwing ten million heart eye emojis under your IG post cause you friggin deserve it. But if I see that this is not helping you, that you still dont love yourself… that when I don’t say anything you assume it is because you are ugly or not good enough… that is not okay. I cannot help you love yourself. I am here to encourage and uplift but it is up to You to love yourself, genuinely.

If you love yourself first, no one can take that from you. If you love yourself first, nothing that people will say can affect you. ever!

God bless xox.

sadderday

I should be sleeping but I’m not. Probably would make sense to do my readings since I can’t sleep but I won’t. I’m not motivated to do much at the moment.

I wanna say everything is okay but it’s not. I tweeted today that working at a gym is a blessing and a curse (if you didn’t see that then you don’t follow me and well shame on you it’s @shhhnry, kcool). I say it’s a curse because it has me looking at other peoples’ bodies wondering why I don’t have that.

NOW. Before I got this job I was comfortable with my body. I’m not the thickest or the skinniest, I don’t have a big ol’ butt, and my cellulite was close to minimal. But man I tell you one of the girls I work with haas the body of one of those fitness models you see on Instagram but she’s not overly done and she’s gorg. Like I look at her all the time and she probably thinks I’m a creep but ion curr to be honest lol.

Yeah so I don’t like that I’m doing that. So I have some personal goals and promises I wanna make to myself and document it so I can look back at it.

– love yourself, always.

-everything takes time

-do everything in life in moderation (thanks KFD)

-physical is not everything, spiritual and mental needs a lot of work.

-stop selling yourself short.

-PRAY. PRAY! PRAY!! and then stop worrying about it.

-speak only the truth and positivity.

-you can’t expect clear skin if you keep popping them pimples and touching your face, fam.

there’s probably more but at the moment my thoughts are wandering. My body isn’t the only aspect of my life I need to work on but that’s what’s on my mind at this moment. I should go sleep. Long day tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can experiment and do a decent style on my own hair(pray for me aha)

it’s over !

the summers over and I feel the same way you do …”

yes I’m sad just like you are . Though the weather wasn’t as great as it’s been in the past I can say that I had an amazing summer ! I went on my first ever vacation, spent time with my family and friends, met new people , had so much great and bad things happened but it all just made this summer memorable in my eyes .

One thing I am extremely proud of is that I have finally recorded and edited my first vlog ! Yes I know I recorded a video a few months ago but I took it down because I couldn’t stand it smh but I promise this video is here to stay =) .

my YouTube channel is artisticallyDull and the link for the video is below:

woot woot ! so that was fun, I will definitely be recording more videos now that I’m getting more comfortable with Final Cut Pro and what not . Once school is underway there will be less vlogs on the road and just at home things when I get the chance though . 

anywho, I’ma go find out how I’m going to enjoy my second last day of freedom before it’s grind time .

God bless xox .

“I Know that was you God, thanks !”

those times when you just don’t even know how to react to something .

like you know when you hear or read something your emotions changes like 12 times in a matters of minutes . laugh , scream , pause , get upset , sad , happy , relieved , and just confused all within minutes yo . 

things could always be worse but thinking about everything in a positive light, God protected me as always *shimmies* . I just need to really stick to listening to my intuition .

When I’m on a high (I mean a natural high folks) I tend to sometimes ignore that tiny voice in my head saying to chill because obviously I’m enjoying the moment which I need to stop doing . I keep saying that and then I force something that will bring me back here to posting this . ugh .

in other news, I’m sick . I guess I should use this time to finally edit and upload my vlog that I have been procrastinating on, right ? we’ll see if I can gather the patience to deal with it *sighs* .

God bless xox .