Growing up I had dreams and aspirations to work with kids so I wanted to be a pediatrician but in the same breath I don’t like science so that didn’t work out. After doing the morning news in highschool I decided I wanted to work in media! Journalism seemed to be the way to go so my Trini beti and I decided we wanted to go to Ryerson and live like the girls in Gossip Girl living downtown (less scandalous obviously) but that obviously did not pan out. Half way through university I decided that I liked Public Relations and Event Planning and that was it!

Here I am today sitting in my cubicle trying to figure how the heck I got here!

Taking a step back and observing my life I sort of know how but it is definitely unfortunate but not bad. I love my job – some days are better than others but that’s what happens when you have to deal with other people in general. Getting a job in media is super hard unless you have a connect or are willing to go broke trying to build experience with mini jobs, in my opinion. There were a few opportunities that I received even while in university but I was working a full time job and they wanted me to work for free basically until we put ourselves on… pardon?

Where are the paid internships? or at least the flexible non-paid ones so that I can actually have a source of income to afford my commute and possibly buying a plain bagel, lightly toasted with butter from Timmies to get me through my day? Where are the jobs where you don’t require five years of experience working in our field straight out of school? The search has been frustrating.

The reason why I’m sitting at my desk working in a different field is because the hunt got tiring. Though this doesn’t mean its over, it means that I needed some money since according to a few non-credible sources I’m high maintenance (pssssshhhh). Jordan (STiXX) mentioned to me in a conversation we had a while ago “as long as you’re consistent with networking… it doesn’t have to be like another job”, so I’m taking it as such. Slowly trying to get out and network, building meaningful relationships, asking questions, breaking out of my shell, all them good thangs.

I’m not sure if there are other people out there who read this that are going through the same thing but please share your thoughts, frustrations, and concerns…

God bless xx

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breathe for a second.

self assurance. know your worth. take your time. you’re amazing. 

appreciate what you have, work for what you want. pray for guidance, strength, and patience. 

Lord I feel like I’m constantly trying to get things on my own without asking for your help or approval which is probably why they aren’t going my way. aha good one, I’m learning I swear.

pray for me.

morning rant

mississauga transit is complete garbage.

I needed to fill my presto card before work today and the closest place for me to fill it on my way to work is Islington station (annoying, I know). So the bus I take from home drops you in front of the subway entrance which is annoying because essentially I have to pay to go into a station to fill up my bus pass. WHAT KINDA STUPIDNESS?!

So I try to talk to the person at the subway desk and explain that I’m not going on the subway, I just wanna fill me presto card… “Sorry but you have to pay” alright womp womp. So I paid, then went to the MiWay desk to fill my card and walked onto my bus. But NOW it charged me again as if I didn’t already journey here and pay my fair. So today I’m going to be paying 3 fares and a subway trip even though I’m just going to work.

Am I the only one who sees the problem here? I mean I wouldn’t complain if Mississauga Transit was actually reliable and efficient… Okay I lied. But I’m mad at the fact that I have to pay so many times for mediocre service. 

Lord Heavenly Father please bless me with a car sooner than later because I am over this.

*takes deep breath*

-end rant-

Daily Travelling as a new cripple girl .

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” – Bob Marley

As a newbie cripple I have had to learn how to get things done myself , well at least try . Anything else, I call on my fam or close friends to try and help me out . So today I had my appointment at the Apple store at Square One and of course I needed a ride . sidenote: it is so weird not having a vehicle anymore . I feel like a pest asking people for rides, I don’t know how people are so comfortable always asking ! I need a car ASAPAnywho, none of my friends could give me a ride and my father wasn’t available so my mom and I decided to take the transit to the mall and of course my little family decided to make it a family trip . Little did I know this trip would solidify my disgust for living in Brampton .

First of all , WHERE IS THE SALT ON THE SIDE WALKS ?! I had to tip toe all over the place because I was playing Slip N’ Slide with my crutches . The ice storm was a few days ago , the sidewalks still look like hazard areas with all the trees and ice all about the place . The whole time I was walking to the bus stop I was just kissing my teeth lol . Anywho the trip itself wasn’t bad . The bus drivers seem to love my mom, must be the God in her lol . She’s so patient and kind even to the jerk bus drivers and they can’t help but smile … ew man lol thats besides the point .

When we get to Square One the first thing on my mind is getting an electric scooter to ride around and stunt in aha (this is a big dream of mine since I got my ankle fractured, lame I know), but of course the mall is busy and they are out of everything so I had to sit and wait even while I’m already late for my appointment at Apple . After getting flustered I hopped over to Apple with my sister so I could at least tell them I’m in the mall . They tell me they’re already behind schedule and they wont be able to see me for another hour and since I’m on crutches they wanted me to sit and wait for them to call me . Now I understand I’m injured but sitting down waiting patiently while I’m starving is quite difficult to do . But I work in retail and I understand how it is to go through the holiday season in a high demand store so I decided I’ll wait . Yadda yadda they fix my problem after an hour and some of waiting, thanked them and blitzed to the food court (now by this time my mom was finally able to bother the information desk and get a wheelchair) .

After we’re done eating, we made our way to Victoria Secret so I can use the lovely gift card I got for my birthday (spanks Janay) . I usually don’t shop there cause I find them to be for the hottie hotties who are looking to impress their husbands / boyfriends and ting .. Sorry I don’t have any of that LaSenza and Winners will suffice lol . Regardless to say I used all of my gift card YAY but my experience was extremely terrible BOO. Seeing as how I’m not able to get around without assistance, its frustrating when associates see me trying to get by and instead of moving out the way or giving me some space, they act like I’m not there or look at me like I’m lower than them . Then these two black girls working there are looking at me up and down like I did something to them, nothing new but lately since my patience has been strained I have no time for nonsense . There’s other things I could name wrong with that experience but they closed and I got my things so whatever, I won’t be going back to that location again . To top it all off when I got to the terminal to go back home these ratchets decided it was cute to mimic me trying to get around, which I found extremely sad and pathetic but just keep the ratchets in your prayers ya’ll . 

*deep breathe*

Regardless I am now home laying on my couch defrosting about to start watching Prison Break on Netflixxxxxxx . Sorry for the rant but I just can’t wait to walk properly again ! #CountdowntoJanuray16 !!!!!

A Storm is brewing .

Only up until a few years ago did I hear about Christians going through “storms” and witnessing my mom go through hers I always said to myself that I dread the day that I go through mine .

I’m torn . Dealing with daily struggles its hard to keep faith that God is even watching over me . My mom has been through hell and back and through it all she seems to have put all her faith in Him but it’s extremely hard for me to do the same . But I can feel a storm is coming . I don’t think I have ever had to deal with some of the things I’ve been working through these past few months and I feel exhausted . If this is what comes with becoming an adult take me back to my life back when I was 10 living in Sauga ! I can’t wait to genuinely smile again on a consistent basis .

On a positive note though , I’ve completed my Fall semester of school and my birthdaaaay is less than a month away !!!! I’m looking into internships and volunteer opportunities so if anyone reading this blog knows of any media internships or volunteering opportunities HOLLA AT YA GIRL , spanks and God Bless xox .

Note to self : Reading the Word . Have Faith . Believe .