Growing up I had dreams and aspirations to work with kids so I wanted to be a pediatrician but in the same breath I don’t like science so that didn’t work out. After doing the morning news in highschool I decided I wanted to work in media! Journalism seemed to be the way to go so my Trini beti and I decided we wanted to go to Ryerson and live like the girls in Gossip Girl living downtown (less scandalous obviously) but that obviously did not pan out. Half way through university I decided that I liked Public Relations and Event Planning and that was it!

Here I am today sitting in my cubicle trying to figure how the heck I got here!

Taking a step back and observing my life I sort of know how but it is definitely unfortunate but not bad. I love my job – some days are better than others but that’s what happens when you have to deal with other people in general. Getting a job in media is super hard unless you have a connect or are willing to go broke trying to build experience with mini jobs, in my opinion. There were a few opportunities that I received even while in university but I was working a full time job and they wanted me to work for free basically until we put ourselves on… pardon?

Where are the paid internships? or at least the flexible non-paid ones so that I can actually have a source of income to afford my commute and possibly buying a plain bagel, lightly toasted with butter from Timmies to get me through my day? Where are the jobs where you don’t require five years of experience working in our field straight out of school? The search has been frustrating.

The reason why I’m sitting at my desk working in a different field is because the hunt got tiring. Though this doesn’t mean its over, it means that I needed some money since according to a few non-credible sources I’m high maintenance (pssssshhhh). Jordan (STiXX) mentioned to me in a conversation we had a while ago “as long as you’re consistent with networking… it doesn’t have to be like another job”, so I’m taking it as such. Slowly trying to get out and network, building meaningful relationships, asking questions, breaking out of my shell, all them good thangs.

I’m not sure if there are other people out there who read this that are going through the same thing but please share your thoughts, frustrations, and concerns…

God bless xx

New Level

It’s been a whirlwind of craziness but I have officially graduated from university! Through all these years pushing and stressing to be done and now that it’s over I don’t even know what to do with myself aha. Okay I’m kidding, it’s time to make this shmoney but I mean usually I’m on break prepping for summer school or the fall semester but that’s not gonna happen… For now.

God tested me through many trials and tribulations and I thought about giving up many times. But all in all life will always have its ups and downs; if you can gather your strength to push on, do so. Don’t let the devil win, EVER!

I have so many things to do now but I am extremely happy and excited for the many goals I have to complete.

It’s funny my dad said to me that now that I’m done school he’s okay to hear about me dating now lol. But really and truly, I’ve kinda used school as an excuse to not date for a while now… And many other reasons that don’t need to be discussed right now aha. But dating just seems so exhausting. I want someone and something serious and the generation I’m apart of plays too much games. Why are we trying to figure out who cares the least?! If you like me and I like you then what’s the issue !!!

*woosah* anyways. My toes are starting to tingle aha. I pray everyone has a blessed day. Positive vibes only! God bless 

breathe for a second.

self assurance. know your worth. take your time. you’re amazing. 

appreciate what you have, work for what you want. pray for guidance, strength, and patience. 

Lord I feel like I’m constantly trying to get things on my own without asking for your help or approval which is probably why they aren’t going my way. aha good one, I’m learning I swear.

pray for me.

get ready.

how crazy is it that after yeeeeears and yeeeeears of dealing with stress with money, assignments, prof’s, family, friendships and relationships I am finally graduating from university!

I got my grad tickets today and it really dawned on me… God has brought me through all the nonsense that I didn’t think I could have made it through. Even when I gave up He put me back on track and gave me the strength to carry it through. I am eternally grateful.

ah coming again…

If you listen to soca then you are probably humming Machel cause… Yeah okay.

G’morning though.

I’m here again because I’m stuck and bored at the mechanic, yas ya’ll I got a car *slow whines*. But I just wanna make this very short rant and go back to listening to this soca mix…

I declare that I am so done with being taken advantage of and used. I am valuable. I’m amazing. I  am blessed. I have potential. So why the heck am I going to sit back and be mistreated? Miss me with the nonsense. Please understand that there is no hard feelings but when I put my foot down I need to keep it there. 

Just put some respeck on my name, all I ask.
Much love and blessings xox.

I don’t wanna be an adult.

When I was little all I wanted was to be a grownup. I didn’t wanna listen to my parents sometimes and the only thing I felt they had over me was “my house, my rules”.

I wanna eat a caramilk cake to myself.

I wanna run around in large tees and my boxers blaring soca.

I wanna get a Pomeranian chihuahua.

All things that I can only do in my own place and my own dime. Now hold up. Now that I’m older and I am considered an adult I want to be a kid again. These responsibilities are overwhelming and I feel jipped (I think that’s how you spell it).

Why do I know how to calculate the hypotenuse of a triangle but do not understand mortgages? The school system has failed me yet again. I’m learning about all these things I will actually need in life not through all my years of school, but through experience and trials.

I already feel the financial and emotional burdens and I don’t even have my own place as yet and realistically I don’t plan on having my own place for a while. Do you know how expensive it is to live? Why didn’t know one explain this to me when I was constantly asking for lunch money and field trip money? My parents made sure I never went without the basic necessities and had an enjoyable childhood and I love you guys both forever for it (I doubt they will ever see this but it’s the thought that counts)

I just want my childhood back. I want my youth back. You can take all the stress, heartache, and long nights. Bring back scheduled nap time, free McDonald’s, and my unibrow. Bring back the days I could fall asleep in the car and someone would carry me right to my bed. God. Oh, please.

flash

summer school is literaly flashing before my eyes!

Next week is my class midterm, we have our group assignment and we have already been assigned our final project. whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there. but I’m happy it’s almost over. This class is great, I love it but I want to enjoy my summer without having to think about school.

who am I kidding though, I have another class that starts right after this one so I won’t be free until July. puppa ….

currently in pain from this week’s workouts and I have gain 10 lbs… supposedly that’s all muscle but I’m not sure about that lol. my eating habits are a work in progress. I think once I finally stop eating cookies and milk before bed I will be able to conquer anything ^_^

hope everyone enjoys their long weekend.

God Bless xox.