Growing up I had dreams and aspirations to work with kids so I wanted to be a pediatrician but in the same breath I don’t like science so that didn’t work out. After doing the morning news in highschool I decided I wanted to work in media! Journalism seemed to be the way to go so my Trini beti and I decided we wanted to go to Ryerson and live like the girls in Gossip Girl living downtown (less scandalous obviously) but that obviously did not pan out. Half way through university I decided that I liked Public Relations and Event Planning and that was it!

Here I am today sitting in my cubicle trying to figure how the heck I got here!

Taking a step back and observing my life I sort of know how but it is definitely unfortunate but not bad. I love my job – some days are better than others but that’s what happens when you have to deal with other people in general. Getting a job in media is super hard unless you have a connect or are willing to go broke trying to build experience with mini jobs, in my opinion. There were a few opportunities that I received even while in university but I was working a full time job and they wanted me to work for free basically until we put ourselves on… pardon?

Where are the paid internships? or at least the flexible non-paid ones so that I can actually have a source of income to afford my commute and possibly buying a plain bagel, lightly toasted with butter from Timmies to get me through my day? Where are the jobs where you don’t require five years of experience working in our field straight out of school? The search has been frustrating.

The reason why I’m sitting at my desk working in a different field is because the hunt got tiring. Though this doesn’t mean its over, it means that I needed some money since according to a few non-credible sources I’m high maintenance (pssssshhhh). Jordan (STiXX) mentioned to me in a conversation we had a while ago “as long as you’re consistent with networking… it doesn’t have to be like another job”, so I’m taking it as such. Slowly trying to get out and network, building meaningful relationships, asking questions, breaking out of my shell, all them good thangs.

I’m not sure if there are other people out there who read this that are going through the same thing but please share your thoughts, frustrations, and concerns…

God bless xx

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New Level

It’s been a whirlwind of craziness but I have officially graduated from university! Through all these years pushing and stressing to be done and now that it’s over I don’t even know what to do with myself aha. Okay I’m kidding, it’s time to make this shmoney but I mean usually I’m on break prepping for summer school or the fall semester but that’s not gonna happen… For now.

God tested me through many trials and tribulations and I thought about giving up many times. But all in all life will always have its ups and downs; if you can gather your strength to push on, do so. Don’t let the devil win, EVER!

I have so many things to do now but I am extremely happy and excited for the many goals I have to complete.

It’s funny my dad said to me that now that I’m done school he’s okay to hear about me dating now lol. But really and truly, I’ve kinda used school as an excuse to not date for a while now… And many other reasons that don’t need to be discussed right now aha. But dating just seems so exhausting. I want someone and something serious and the generation I’m apart of plays too much games. Why are we trying to figure out who cares the least?! If you like me and I like you then what’s the issue !!!

*woosah* anyways. My toes are starting to tingle aha. I pray everyone has a blessed day. Positive vibes only! God bless 

because I’m…

tired. fed up. happy. ecstatic. hopeful. sensitive. confused. and torn. at the same time.

wanna get me to try new things? give me no other option when I’m starving.

I went to see my fashaa(daddy) yesterday and we had this classic Philly burger(made with montery jack cheese, green pepper, and I think something else) with salad. wanna know what was in the salad!? mandarins, strawberries, cucumbers, and tomatos with a choice of either Rasberry vinaigrette or Mandarin Orange with sesame dressing… WHO AM I?! Am I finally growing up?! Mom I hope you’re proud of me if you end up reading this lol. I’m so used to eating whatever but that salad alone got me thinking about all the other things I can mix for dinner and stuff.

Any suggestions for healthy meals? I’m not gonna try everything right away but I’m slowly turning a new leaf.

tonight is Sabbath… and I’m gonna be working late. hopefully I have enough energy to do my nails at least and get some reading done. It has become easier for me to read but I still have motion sickness so I can’t read on the go =(

need to go back to physio…

Victoria Day has my ankles stiff as a board. bun “Ashbridges” aka Woodbine Beach. I’m gonna start buying sparklers and lighting them on my balcony with a glass of wine on the side. chaaaaa.

anyways, gotta start my day. be blessed and positive xox

flash

summer school is literaly flashing before my eyes!

Next week is my class midterm, we have our group assignment and we have already been assigned our final project. whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there. but I’m happy it’s almost over. This class is great, I love it but I want to enjoy my summer without having to think about school.

who am I kidding though, I have another class that starts right after this one so I won’t be free until July. puppa ….

currently in pain from this week’s workouts and I have gain 10 lbs… supposedly that’s all muscle but I’m not sure about that lol. my eating habits are a work in progress. I think once I finally stop eating cookies and milk before bed I will be able to conquer anything ^_^

hope everyone enjoys their long weekend.

God Bless xox.

sadderday

I should be sleeping but I’m not. Probably would make sense to do my readings since I can’t sleep but I won’t. I’m not motivated to do much at the moment.

I wanna say everything is okay but it’s not. I tweeted today that working at a gym is a blessing and a curse (if you didn’t see that then you don’t follow me and well shame on you it’s @shhhnry, kcool). I say it’s a curse because it has me looking at other peoples’ bodies wondering why I don’t have that.

NOW. Before I got this job I was comfortable with my body. I’m not the thickest or the skinniest, I don’t have a big ol’ butt, and my cellulite was close to minimal. But man I tell you one of the girls I work with haas the body of one of those fitness models you see on Instagram but she’s not overly done and she’s gorg. Like I look at her all the time and she probably thinks I’m a creep but ion curr to be honest lol.

Yeah so I don’t like that I’m doing that. So I have some personal goals and promises I wanna make to myself and document it so I can look back at it.

– love yourself, always.

-everything takes time

-do everything in life in moderation (thanks KFD)

-physical is not everything, spiritual and mental needs a lot of work.

-stop selling yourself short.

-PRAY. PRAY! PRAY!! and then stop worrying about it.

-speak only the truth and positivity.

-you can’t expect clear skin if you keep popping them pimples and touching your face, fam.

there’s probably more but at the moment my thoughts are wandering. My body isn’t the only aspect of my life I need to work on but that’s what’s on my mind at this moment. I should go sleep. Long day tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can experiment and do a decent style on my own hair(pray for me aha)

first week

how was my first week back at school? a sucker punch to the left titty.

Realistically there is no winning with prepping to go back to school in my eyes. Way back in September I walked into school saying I’m just gonna not talk to anyone, sit at the front of class and hand in everything on time. Focus! But then my profs love group projects… *gags*. I guess it makes sense that in Public Relations we have to get used to working together but like why sooo many group projects?! Can we chill? This also meant that I needed to talk to people in school and since all of my friends I made in first year graduated I’m doomed.. or so I thought. In a nutshell I made some bomb friends and I hope I have them in all my classes that have group projects because I have hit my school friends quota for this institution and they make me happy lol.

Fast forwarding to Winter semester and I have two exams this week, a bunch of assignments due every week, and I’m hunting for a book that is well overpriced. Take me back to highschool when it costed $60 per year for school and the books were provided, on SparkNotes or in the library at NO CHARGE. I really should be studying but I’m just not feeling it. My parents would smack me if they knew I wasn’t studying…(don’t smack me if/when you read this guys, love you) but I’m a G so I’ma go study in like… 3 minutes lol.

On the bright side of my life lately I got a new job!!!! *crip walks* *heel toes* *pelvic thrusts* *gets jiggy with it* *shimmies*

.. oh and did I mention this job is a million times LESS stressful than my last job? My old senior always told me that after I left I would find better, everyone is happier when they leave my old workplace and LOOK AT GOD. I’m happy as heck. I actually have time to see my friends and my family and not wanna smack everyone in sight. Its wonderful. This is definitely helping with my “road to being positive all the time” though there have been some hiccups on this very long ride.

shoutout to the folks who are actually happy all the time and can see the positive in every situation ALL. THE. TIME.

I try my best and then God puts something in front of me and I get flustered and after some negative thoughts I realize that that was a test and I failed, lawl. I need to keep my cool.

but anyways. I think I should start reading now, it’s getting late and I haven’t even cracked open my textbook LOL.

toodles and God bless xox.