breathe for a second.

self assurance. know your worth. take your time. you’re amazing. 

appreciate what you have, work for what you want. pray for guidance, strength, and patience. 

Lord I feel like I’m constantly trying to get things on my own without asking for your help or approval which is probably why they aren’t going my way. aha good one, I’m learning I swear.

pray for me.

Advertisements

ah coming again…

If you listen to soca then you are probably humming Machel cause… Yeah okay.

G’morning though.

I’m here again because I’m stuck and bored at the mechanic, yas ya’ll I got a car *slow whines*. But I just wanna make this very short rant and go back to listening to this soca mix…

I declare that I am so done with being taken advantage of and used. I am valuable. I’m amazing. I  am blessed. I have potential. So why the heck am I going to sit back and be mistreated? Miss me with the nonsense. Please understand that there is no hard feelings but when I put my foot down I need to keep it there. 

Just put some respeck on my name, all I ask.
Much love and blessings xox.

because I’m…

tired. fed up. happy. ecstatic. hopeful. sensitive. confused. and torn. at the same time.

wanna get me to try new things? give me no other option when I’m starving.

I went to see my fashaa(daddy) yesterday and we had this classic Philly burger(made with montery jack cheese, green pepper, and I think something else) with salad. wanna know what was in the salad!? mandarins, strawberries, cucumbers, and tomatos with a choice of either Rasberry vinaigrette or Mandarin Orange with sesame dressing… WHO AM I?! Am I finally growing up?! Mom I hope you’re proud of me if you end up reading this lol. I’m so used to eating whatever but that salad alone got me thinking about all the other things I can mix for dinner and stuff.

Any suggestions for healthy meals? I’m not gonna try everything right away but I’m slowly turning a new leaf.

tonight is Sabbath… and I’m gonna be working late. hopefully I have enough energy to do my nails at least and get some reading done. It has become easier for me to read but I still have motion sickness so I can’t read on the go =(

need to go back to physio…

Victoria Day has my ankles stiff as a board. bun “Ashbridges” aka Woodbine Beach. I’m gonna start buying sparklers and lighting them on my balcony with a glass of wine on the side. chaaaaa.

anyways, gotta start my day. be blessed and positive xox

flash

summer school is literaly flashing before my eyes!

Next week is my class midterm, we have our group assignment and we have already been assigned our final project. whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa there. but I’m happy it’s almost over. This class is great, I love it but I want to enjoy my summer without having to think about school.

who am I kidding though, I have another class that starts right after this one so I won’t be free until July. puppa ….

currently in pain from this week’s workouts and I have gain 10 lbs… supposedly that’s all muscle but I’m not sure about that lol. my eating habits are a work in progress. I think once I finally stop eating cookies and milk before bed I will be able to conquer anything ^_^

hope everyone enjoys their long weekend.

God Bless xox.

two years?

I just opened up my wordpress to write some random blurbs and I got a notification that today marks two years that I have been on here! wow. I mean two years of my online stress reliever. two years of growth. I have been blogging since highschool but I see my wordpress as a step closer to maturing into adulthood. A lot of my posts on my blogspot were rants and personal things that really didn’t need to be shared but hey, can’t change what’s already been done right?

Blogging can be such a healthy thing when used properly. People have all different uses when it comes to blogs but when you let go of your fear of what people have to say and discern what is necessary and unecessary to post it can become great.

I started blogging for a few reasons. In highschool I needed an outlet to express my feelings. I didn’t show many people where I was posting because at the time I didn’t even understand the signifcance of it. I went through typical highschool drama and felt that I didn’t have anyone to speak to. I mean I talk to my mom about almost everything but some things she can’t even understand and when you feel that all your friends are against you, you gotta look somewhere else. I know a Christian reading this is going to chime in saying, “what about calling on God?” well… I don’t have a legit reason as to why I didn’t.

During my highschool years I knew God but I didn’t look to Him like I should. I went to church and prayed before all my meals but through all my troubles I wouldn’t call on Him. I think that’s when He wants us to talk to Him the most.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” Psalms 55:22

Once I got to university and learning the importance of my relationship with God I started to truly understand that verse. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my weak moments but who is perfect?

Blogging also helped me understand that I’m not the only one going through some things in my life. I have had people reach out to me and help me cope with things that I felt I could do on my own and even share happy experiences as well. Letting certain aspects of your life show can be a good thing sometimes. It has helped me through many trials in my life, I mean not just blogging obviously I have God, friends, and family but my blog has done a bit.

I appreciate people who read my entries and have shown support. In the end this isn’t done for an audience. This is for me.

God bless and Happy Black History Month xox.

sadderday

I should be sleeping but I’m not. Probably would make sense to do my readings since I can’t sleep but I won’t. I’m not motivated to do much at the moment.

I wanna say everything is okay but it’s not. I tweeted today that working at a gym is a blessing and a curse (if you didn’t see that then you don’t follow me and well shame on you it’s @shhhnry, kcool). I say it’s a curse because it has me looking at other peoples’ bodies wondering why I don’t have that.

NOW. Before I got this job I was comfortable with my body. I’m not the thickest or the skinniest, I don’t have a big ol’ butt, and my cellulite was close to minimal. But man I tell you one of the girls I work with haas the body of one of those fitness models you see on Instagram but she’s not overly done and she’s gorg. Like I look at her all the time and she probably thinks I’m a creep but ion curr to be honest lol.

Yeah so I don’t like that I’m doing that. So I have some personal goals and promises I wanna make to myself and document it so I can look back at it.

– love yourself, always.

-everything takes time

-do everything in life in moderation (thanks KFD)

-physical is not everything, spiritual and mental needs a lot of work.

-stop selling yourself short.

-PRAY. PRAY! PRAY!! and then stop worrying about it.

-speak only the truth and positivity.

-you can’t expect clear skin if you keep popping them pimples and touching your face, fam.

there’s probably more but at the moment my thoughts are wandering. My body isn’t the only aspect of my life I need to work on but that’s what’s on my mind at this moment. I should go sleep. Long day tomorrow and I’m going to see if I can experiment and do a decent style on my own hair(pray for me aha)

first week

how was my first week back at school? a sucker punch to the left titty.

Realistically there is no winning with prepping to go back to school in my eyes. Way back in September I walked into school saying I’m just gonna not talk to anyone, sit at the front of class and hand in everything on time. Focus! But then my profs love group projects… *gags*. I guess it makes sense that in Public Relations we have to get used to working together but like why sooo many group projects?! Can we chill? This also meant that I needed to talk to people in school and since all of my friends I made in first year graduated I’m doomed.. or so I thought. In a nutshell I made some bomb friends and I hope I have them in all my classes that have group projects because I have hit my school friends quota for this institution and they make me happy lol.

Fast forwarding to Winter semester and I have two exams this week, a bunch of assignments due every week, and I’m hunting for a book that is well overpriced. Take me back to highschool when it costed $60 per year for school and the books were provided, on SparkNotes or in the library at NO CHARGE. I really should be studying but I’m just not feeling it. My parents would smack me if they knew I wasn’t studying…(don’t smack me if/when you read this guys, love you) but I’m a G so I’ma go study in like… 3 minutes lol.

On the bright side of my life lately I got a new job!!!! *crip walks* *heel toes* *pelvic thrusts* *gets jiggy with it* *shimmies*

.. oh and did I mention this job is a million times LESS stressful than my last job? My old senior always told me that after I left I would find better, everyone is happier when they leave my old workplace and LOOK AT GOD. I’m happy as heck. I actually have time to see my friends and my family and not wanna smack everyone in sight. Its wonderful. This is definitely helping with my “road to being positive all the time” though there have been some hiccups on this very long ride.

shoutout to the folks who are actually happy all the time and can see the positive in every situation ALL. THE. TIME.

I try my best and then God puts something in front of me and I get flustered and after some negative thoughts I realize that that was a test and I failed, lawl. I need to keep my cool.

but anyways. I think I should start reading now, it’s getting late and I haven’t even cracked open my textbook LOL.

toodles and God bless xox.