twenty four

This year in spending my 24th birthday on vacation. This is the first of, God willing, many more. I feel extremely blessed to be able to spend time away from my regular life and escape to some sun and new adventures.
Originally planning to go to St. Maarten (which I still plan on doing in the future) I was a bit nervous when changing the destination to Cuba because of the rumors about the food… which is true, the food isn’t the greatest but I’ll live. But as I sit here in my hotel room I had a quick scare. Even though I’m here with great company I truly miss my family. I wish I was able to take everyone with me and travel. I wish I was able to FaceTime them to see their faces and hear their voices.
A major downside here is that there are tons of restrictions on internet access here so using wifi definitely costs money and if you want to use it there is only certain parts of the resort that have it available. One thing I wanted to use was snapchat so I can obviously show off how much fun I’m having to my friends back home but that’s restricted here so I suggest to anyone if you’re going to Cuba download a VPN thing first so that you can change your IP address which will give you access to snapchat. This also made me realize that I am super attached to my social networks. The fact that I don’t have internet access constantly was a bummer to me and it shouldn’t be. I’ve been able to contact my family and tell them I’ve safely landed and that’s really all I should need it for. I get so caught up with other people’s lives and making my life look amazing that I just waste valuable time living my life.
I was watching a video of my daddy on my phone and randomly started to reflect on life. I want to live my life to the fullest while building the best possible relationship I can have with God. I seem to be stuck between I guess you would say a “worldly” lifestyle and A Christian one. But my main thing is living a good life and being a good person. I try my best to be good, treat people how I would like to be treated and do things with no regrets. I’m not perfect and I don’t want to be, I want to be happy and go to heaven when my life here is over.
What I do want to do though is work more on my relationship with God. At times I feel empty and I’ve learned you can’t look to other people to fill that void, you need to look within yourself. I want to be a complete being so that when someone comes into my life they just add to it but they don’t control my happiness.
All in all I’m just here talking and reflecting. I don’t know if this is a comeback but I’m trying.

Happy Kobe Year to me. God bless xo

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