Till The End.

Is it pathetic that I’m afraid to fall in love with someone because I don’t ever wanna lose them? Even though we all know we don’t live forever?

Coping with the loss of my uncle has had it’s ups and downs. I feel okay some days and then other days I’m ready to cry my eyes out. He was one of the greatest men I’ve ever known and definitely a huge part of my life and I feel like I didn’t appreciate him enough while he was here. Burying him was definitely harder than I could ever imagine… But the person I truly feel for is my aunt, his wife. They were inseperable. They did almost everything together, you wouldn’t see one without the other and I kinda admired that about them.

I want my husband to be my best friend, my rock, and my support system. Someone who is a reflection of me and can help me be a better me. But in the same breath losing your best friend is tragic. Everything reminds you of them and at some point you have to accept that the person is gone. Friends can come and go but it’s not that easy to move on from losing your husband/wife. I can’t describe the feeling because I haven’t gotten married yet but the pain I feel as a neice is hard enough. I’m such a lova gyal I feel like I’ll always be with my husband. I just wanna know I’ll be strong enough to still see the positive things in life if he was to pass before me.

I dream of getting married and having children but I guess it sounds silly but I have never really thought about how it would feel to lose someone so close to me… I guess I’m just more focused on living and one day being able to have a family of my own.

Reading this over and over makes me feel like this sounds like I’m selfish. We live and we die but this pain really sucks. Looking at my aunt is so different because you can see in he eyes that she’s sad. I’m so used to seeing him right beside her whenever I go visit and now the house seems so empty.

I guess what I wanna say is appreciate and love those around you. Don’t miss a chance to love.

No one and nothing last forever.


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