I just wanted to be loved …
Having an idea in your mind of who you wanna be with; tall, nice smile, educated, spiritual, family oriented, loyal, honest, smart, and all that good stuff . Praying for that person to show up . Waiting … yet Nothing . You know you’re a good person; you can cook, clean, you’re friendly, well rounded, happy, giving, loving, you feel that you possess the qualities of an amazing partner but yet you don’t have one .
Then he comes along . He’s telling you all you wanna hear, he has a nice smile, tall, nice… sometimes, goes to school, not really into the spiritual piece, but I mean you can change that right ? So you go for it . Invest all of your time and energy and in your mind it feels like he is too, but in reality it’s the total opposite . He’s just here waiting for the ride, sorry in hopes for a ride . Quality time together is minimal, communication is lacking, he seems to be happy yet you’re not . You guys do some “couple-y” things together but you still feel empty .
There are all these red signs , Yet you stay .
But like he’s cute … kinda . He has good fashion sense , okay not really . He’s great with his family , that he doesn’t talk about and won’t let you meet, so we don’t know about that one . What are we doing here ? Now you have questions and he has all the answers yet they’re not answering what you are asking but you don’t wanna be a nag so you hush and see if things will get better .
A few months pass by … No signs of change anywhere , things have actually gotten worse . He can go days without talking to you , when you guys do talk it seems as if you’re bothering him, you ask him if you guys will progress from this and he has the nerve to say “I don’t think I’m ready for commitment” BUT GOOD SIR , HELLO HI .
“What do you mean ?” “What am I here for ?” “Can I have these past few months back ?” “Are you going to give those back to me ?” “Can you explain what your goal was here ?” “Oh so you have trust issues huh ?” “You got your heart broken before , right ?” “Not ready … huh ?!” “You think you’re the first person to go through heartache ?” “Do you think that I haven’t been hurt before too ?” “Have I ever given you a reason to not trust me ?” There are so many questions that you have for him but of course he wont answer them . He’ll calm you down and kiss you like he means it and tell you that you’re overreacting , again .
So you sit and reflect on your time together . Think about all the things you have done vs. what he has done and of course it doesn’t seem to be equal . So you test him . Stop caring for a while, see how he reacts . But he doesn’t react . He stops caring too , but wait girl he never did care . Now you’re back at square ONE . Hurt and you can only blame yourself for letting it get this far . But dont let this get to you . Learn from this, grow from this, move forward from this . Harbouring that hurt into your next situation won’t help, you may just miss out on the next best thing for you . Just look out for those red signs !
Know your worth , keep waiting for what You want . Not everyone that shows interest in you deserves your time .