I haven’t forgotten ..

“They’re standing on the corner and they can’t speak English. I can’t even talk the way these people talk: Why you ain’t, Where you is, What he drive, Where he stay, Where he work, Who you be… And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. Everybody knows it’s important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can’t be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we’ve got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what? And they won’t spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn’t know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father? People putting their clothes on backward: Isn’t that a sign of something gone wrong? People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn’t that a sign of something? Isn’t it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from?? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don’t know a thing about Africa ….. I say this all of the time. It would be like white people saying they are European-American. That is totally stupid. I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents. I don’t have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands . The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa . So stop, already! ! ! With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap ……… And all of them are in jail. Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person’s problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different ‘husbands’ — or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can’t write two paragraphs. We, as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us. We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.. We cannot blame the white people any longer.” Dr. William Henry ‘Bill’ Cosby, Jr., Ed..D.

Happy Black History Month folks !

listen up !

mmm hey ..

Sewwww the other day I was talking to this guy , pretty decent conversation , and then out of nowhere things got out of hand . He was asking about my close group of friends and I told him my best friend is a male which then led him to say ,

“Nah man I can’t date a girl who has a guy ‘best friend’ b , nah nah yo . “

…… *twitches twice* …….

Numero UNO just because a girl is having a conversation with you does NOT mean they want to date you and numero Dos … what the flocka ?! Mind you this is not the first time I have ever heard this . I have heard many reasons as to why guys feel that way but personally I find them all chupid . Why can’t males and females be close friends with the opposite sex without someone thinking that they are secretly ‘getting it in’ ?

If there is one thing that bothers me to no end it is generalizing . I used to do it but I have seen the light but not many have had this luxury . But just because the few not so classy and/or mature females that you know are not able to keep their kitten in the cage does not mean all females are the same !!! When my best friend was single everyone that knew us on Twitter alone or did not know much about us from school thought we were secretly dating or doing whatever .. uh NO . I see him like a brother , yeeeeuck (Sorry , I have to emphasize LOL) . But no it was really bad . Everything that we did was over analyzed … which got extremely annoying .

At first it bothered me because all the guys I encountered were the same , in regards to not trusting me but then I realized that means there is an issue that the guy needs to deal with that is separate from me . If I do not give you a reason to not trust me with my male best friend then what is the problem ? Do you have some secrets that you would like to share ? Can you not handle having female friends ? Does this mean I gotta do a background check on all of your home girls, cousins, co workers, and classmates ? (lool kidding, kinda) But honestly , we’re young adults now its time to grow up . If you feel that you personally would not be able to handle having a close friend of the opposite sex then Voice it to your partner and work it out from there . Minor things like the gender of their closest homies should not stop you from pursuing/dating someone .

After a few minutes of ‘arguing’ with the guy he asked me ,

“But why does he have to be a guy ? What’s wrong with your girlfriends ?”

Listen , its not like I went on a wild goose chase to find a male best friend … it just happened that way lol . I have girl friends who I can come to for any and everything and then there are topics that need a males perspective . If I wanna buy a gift for my dude , sports insights, video games , and relationship advice are just a few examples . Sometimes a friendship is so easy to build and you end up telling the person your whole life without you knowing it , my best friend is one of those people . Which is rare ! Though lots of guys want to deny it , SOME of you guys chat as much as us women do if not more . “Who’s that lightskin ting you just tweeted ?” “That girl from the club last night was beeeat fom” “ouuu who is that ting that you just followed on IG fam ? You know her ?! Thats you ?! I can’t holla?” “That girl has a best friend that will let the whole crew hit , let me swerve .” liiike chill . I hear some of you  in public and I just roll with laughter . Having a male best friend is basically the same as having a female one just there are some things we don’t discuss , simple . So there is nothing WRONG with my girlfriends , if you see the value in a friendship with someone no matter the race , gender , height or whatever it shouldn’t stop you from keeping that close .

Now this Also goes for women too , but it all comes down to trust . Many females read too much into things ( I have been guilty of this) and we say we trust guys but once he likes a pretty girl’s picture on Instagram (IG) or retweets a girl with tons of followers on Twitter all that ‘trust’ goes out the window . Though some guys are trifling not all of them are . If your man says his best friend is a female let it be . Give your man, side ting , bae , or whatever you call him a chance . Get to know her and maybe learn why they are so close . It isn’t like he’s out there messing around with the girl … and if he is the trifling kind and is messing with her that is a whole new post to get into .

To sum this condensed rant up , there is nothing wrong with having a best friend of the opposite sex IF you and your significant have your mind right .. but ya’ll don’t hear me though .

friendship .

From when I was a kid my mom always encouraged me to go out and make friends .

At school , parties , family gatherings … basically anywhere my mom made it a point to remind me to be positive and leave knowing at least one new person . I didn’t see the harm in it . Eventually every time I went to a children’s party I knew at least one kid and there was no awkward situations . We would exchange house numbers or even emails and hope to keep in touch .

High school was the same way . It was just a bit harder for me since I switched schools in the middle of first semester . By that time everyone had their “BFFs” and their cliques going on so making friends was a bit difficult . NOT TO MENTION the fact that I had just taken off my braces so I had to wear my retainers … How I despise those retainers . They gave me a lisp which later helped create my nickname but I’m getting side tracked … It did not take me long to make new friends but with making “friends” came haters too . I’ve experienced bullying before but at least the people that made fun of me never tried to be my friend . High school exposed me to the meaning of the term wolves in sheep’s clothing . It wasn’t until the end of high school that I learned who my true friends were .

Running with the same crew of girls and a few guys for the first three years of high school I thought that my life was set . A teacher told me that the friends I have now weren’t gonna be with me when I graduate and I was ready to prove her wrong but boy … smh . Two of my supposed closest friends and I had an ugly public falling out . Over complete foolery too . But what surprised me the most was the way my peers that claimed to be cool with me that suddenly distanced themselves . It was like they felt they needed an excuse to stop talking to me and they used that as a perfect opportunity . All this time I thought I was doing the right thing by making as many friends I could but I wasn’t making friends really . Just opening myself up to be vulnerable and give people access that they don’t deserve . I felt like crap . To the point where I wasn’t eating as much ; if you know me personally that is definitely a big deal if I’m not constantly chowing down .

But through all of that one person stayed by my side , literally . Holding me back , making sure I was ohkay , sticking up for me , the whole nine . She wasn’t even someone I used to call my ‘ best friend ‘ , we were cool and we had our jokes but the fiasco definitely brought us closer than ever .

Another one of my closest friends to date was someone that used to date an old friend of mine . She was always had a welcoming spirit . The first day I was introduced to her she was so chill and open to meeting everyone , which is new for me . I hate when you first meet your homeboy’s girlfriend and all she can do it stare everyone down or look at her phone , like laugh a little and make some conversation lol … dang . But with her she was good with getting along with everyone and we later developed a friendship of our own . She’s evolved with me and helped me through things that many others that called me their friend did not . Then you have my best friend which started out as a random friendship . I met him at my workplace =/ lol . Did not expect much from this guy and now I tell him everything and I look to him for a male perspective on things . Its awesome and such a blessing .

Looking at my life in 10 years from now I can still see myself being friends with these three people . Now I don’t wanna curse it but through the fights , drama , laughs , and cries they are still here . No friendship is perfect but the key component with these three is honesty . We are honest with each other even if it hurts . Tell me if my outfit is ugly , my choice of a guy is off , if we say something that wasn’t right , just raw honesty . We don’t  envy each other , we look to help each other achieve happiness and to succeed …

All these years my mom would always encourage me to make as many friends as I can and that’s fine . But when you have like a bunch of “friends” who know your personal life , can you maintain a close relationship with all of them ? Yeah I’ll wait … You CAN’T . I tried and failed miserably . Having lots of friends or acquaintances is cool but what really matters are the close people that you can go to anything for . Quality over Quantity , always . Once I came to this realization I saw who was loyal and my business wasn’t all over the place .

I feel like I’m doing a tad bit too much rambling but please bare with moi .. getting back into this groove of mine lol (ew . ) But to sum it all up , I love everyone around me . I love God , my family , my friends , my acquaintances , my wolves in sheeps clothing , and anyone else out there . It just took me a while to appreciate it all and to be able to categorize the people in my life for who they are .

baby girl .

7 years ago my mother gave birth to a little girl that I would eventually look at like my own daughter . This girl looks like me, talks like me, and even the other day she showed me her outfit she was going to wear to school and it was something that she copied from me ! Now I have three other sisters but I guess since I am the eldest I am drawn to her more than my middle siblings since she is the bebe . I do not want to give the misconception that I love her more than the others . I love them equally and when I am upset I want to beat them equally as bad too .

2012 was a transition year for my family and many of our old habits and traditions have either stopped or are not as”pumped up” as they used to be. So the past few weeks I was planning in my head all the different ways that I could make this birthday special for her . Special  breakfast , favourite food for lunch / dinner , and some kind of toy that she raves about . But I failed to realize that with the changes happening in our family , she was growing and maturing as well . The things that I thought would matter to her did not really phase her this year , and I am so proud . A simple day spent with the company of our little clan of ladies plus one had her all smiles AND she conquered roller skating like a CHAMP . I swear with all the things I go through with my baby sister alone I feel like I am ready to have my own children (AHA , not for now but you know) . 

[ No matter how much we fight , complain , and scream at one another I want you to always know that I love you dearly and that you can always talk to me . Every time you leave to go to school my heart hurts and I pray that you come home from all the chaos that happens outside . Stop growing please and spanks . ]

You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased .” Psalms 4 : 7

aside from all the rambling , I felt the need to have a post dedicated to my babygirl . Happy Bornday xox .